Rape: A personal perspective on Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Published April 22, 2013 By Laura Dermarderosiansmith 301st Fighter Wing Public Affairs NAS FORT WORTH JRB, Texas -- (Editor's note: this is the second of a four-part series defining and outlining the importance of the Sexual Assault Prevention and Response program, resilience, and the "Wingman" concept, from the personal perspective of a rape victim. This second part focuses on the benefit of a Victim's Advocate in the aftermath of a sexual assault. Ms. Dermarderosiansmith is also a member of the Air Force Reserve.) People generally think rapists are strangers who jump out from behind bushes or break into homes, as in my situation. But more often than not they are acquaintances, peers, superiors, or even "friends." Findings from the Fiscal Year 2011 Department of Defense Annual Report on Sexual Assault in the Military showed those four groups of people comprised the majority of perpetrators of sexual assaults among military members. I find it ironic that we join the military knowing we may go to war to face the enemy, only to face another type of enemy from within our own ranks. I was raped by a stranger. I can't imagine being deployed with a group of people, trust them with my life, and then have one of them sexually assault me. I can only begin to feel the emotional and psychological pain of that betrayal, not only from a fellow Airman, but from leadership who might expect me to return to work alongside my rapist. Sexual assault is no more a new phenomenon in the military than in the civilian community. However, I feel it surfaced in the military because victims and their supporters finally had the courage to force leadership to acknowledge a problem. In turn, leadership had the courage to take more decisive action. In 2004, the Department of Defense looked into reports alleging sexual assaults on service members deployed to Iraq and Kuwait. It also investigated how it handled the treatment and care of victims, particularly in a combat theater. By January 2005, the military implemented DoD Directive 6495.01, Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Policy, and DoD Instruction 6495.02, Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Program Procedures, to combat a problem that had been largely ignored for years. There are stories from service members as far back as Vietnam, both men and women, who are coming forward after all these years to report being raped and sodomized by fellow service members. Many of them spent decades living with their secret, thus being denied a chance to heal -- until now. Judging by today's responses to sexual assault surveys, I can only imagine the number of other people who never reported or spoke of their assaults. If they had, they might have felt ostracized by those within their group or left to bear a sense of blame and shame. It's important for victims to realize they are not to blame for the actions of others, nor should they feel ashamed of what happened to them. With this directive and instruction, military members now have a clear-cut definition of sexual assault, a range of support for the victims, and a system of accountability. Over the past six years, the Sexual Assault Prevention and Response program evolved from awareness and prevention training, response and reporting, to the comprehensive program we know today to meet the needs of all military members and adult members of their families. From the Secretary of Defense down through the chain of command, there will be at least one mention in an address to the troops, speech, or congressional testimony that one case of sexual assault on a military member is one too many. In a letter to Airmen dated Nov. 15, 2012, Gen. Mark Welsh, III, Air Force Chief of Staff stated, "There is only one way to say this ... there is no place for sexual assault in our Air Force. When it comes to combating this challenge, every Airman is either part of the solution or part of the problem." I believe a part of the solution is awareness and training. Awareness in the sense of knowing what inappropriate and criminal conduct is, as well as knowing people must be held accountable for their actions. Each time I've conducted training and briefings for the Sexual Assault Response Coordinator (SARC) over the past six years, I see myself in many of the people in those training sessions. I'm ashamed to admit it, but sometimes I haven't paid attention to the material being presented in many of those training courses because it didn't have a personal connection or interest to me. Mostly, I couldn't see how the training would apply to me. It took a long time for me to realize that I don't have to commit everything to memory, but I should at least pay attention to what our leadership is saying is important for me to know. I have to believe that they see a bigger picture that I don't; I have to trust that they see a trend that's developing that needs to be addressed before it has a negative effect on our ability to protect our nation. There is a saying, "Ignorance of the law is no excuse." Considering all the mandatory training, stories written, posters, flyers, videos on sexual assault in the military, the Air Force could adjust that saying to, "Ignorance of the AFI is no excuse." By now we've all had documented training, and no one can claim ignorance. The SAPR program has three major areas military members should learn and understand: definitions of sexual assault and consent, types of reporting, and assistance available to the victim. Sexual assault is defined as intentional sexual contact characterized by use of force, threats, intimidation, abuse of authority or when the victim does not or cannot consent. For many of the perpetrators, the most important part of that definition is overlooked - "victim does not or cannot consent." That's because they feel that if the other person is under the influence of alcohol or drugs, or is unconscious, then it's not considered rape or sexual assault. The bottom line is, "No means no." It doesn't matter if two people initially made a fully conscience decision to engage in sexual conduct and one of them had a change of heart at any point. The act should end at the physical or verbal "no ." and should never be initiated if a person is incapacitated. Just to be clear, the meaning of incapacitated is per the AFI, not what someone interprets the meaning to be. Sexual assault is a crime. But I felt more than that the night I was raped. Initially, I was annoyed that I was robbed. But I was more enraged that someone had the audacity to touch me, taking something else from me he had no rights to or permission. It is important for victims to report their assaults for obvious reasons, but no one should fault them if they can't. It's hard to talk about the details of a sexual assault to those close to them in the first place. Think about the number of times victims will have to tell that story to law enforcement, medical personnel, and in courtrooms, if it gets to that point. It's difficult enough to have to psychologically recover from the attack. It's another to have to publicly relive it for everyone else. Those reasons alone make it easy to understand why some victims are reluctant to report their assault. But mostly, they hear about those who have reported their assault and the treatment they received afterwards from those around them: no justice brought to the perpetrators; subjected to working alongside their attackers; or punished for a lesser crime like underage drinking, while the rapists go unpunished. Adding to that list is the recent story about an officer who was tried in court, convicted, and sentenced to a year in prison -- only to have his conviction overturned by a commanding officer. Victims don't want to be further victimized for reporting their assault. That's a huge price to pay in addition to the physical, emotional, and mental damage already suffered. For this reason, the SAPR program gives the victims the choice to confidentially disclose the assault so they can get the help they need. There are two types of reporting, "restricted" and "unrestricted." The only difference between the two is with the unrestricted report there will be a full investigation and the perpetrator can be held accountable for his or her actions. A restricted report, as long as it was disclosed to a SARC, SAPR Victim's Advocate (VA), health care professional, or chaplain, will remain confidential, but can always be changed to an unrestricted report whenever the victim desires. Although I can't fault victims for being hesitant about reporting their assault, I do feel it's important they at least file a restricted report to get the help they need. I know firsthand going to the hospital after this kind of trauma isn't easy. Having someone like a SARC or VA can make all the difference to a victim, taking away the fear not knowing what to do or navigating through the medical and recovery process. SARCs and VAs provide support to the victims, acting as liaison to get them the services and care they need. With both restricted and unrestricted reports, a VA will be assigned to the victim to help with crisis intervention, referrals, and ongoing non-clinical support. They also provide information on available options and resources. I became a VA when the program started in 2006 because I felt like my experience gave me something to offer other victims. I remember what it was like to go through the confusing and embarrassing process from the time the police arrived to when I left the hospital. I wish I had a victim's advocate available to me after I was raped. I still remember clearly how I was callously treated by the doctor and staff at the hospital. As an advocate, I represent the best interest and wishes of a victim and would do whatever it takes to prevent such treatment. Thinking back to those who were part of my experience, I still feel gratitude for a detective on the scene. He had the compassion to see me through the evening, even though he wasn't supposed to get that involved. I didn't need an ambulance in my case, so he took me to the nearest hospital with a rape crisis center -- 25 miles away. Without his act of kindness, I would have been alone. It wasn't that my friends wouldn't have been there with me, but no one had any idea what to expect. From what we had heard, no one would have been able to be with me. Maybe at that time that was true. We just didn't know what to expect. As it was, I stayed in the rape crisis center's waiting room for quite a while before being interviewed. By then, I was physically hurting, particularly with a severe headache. I was told I couldn't have any medication until I had X-rays taken. Then I was told the X-rays wouldn't happen until after I was examined by the doctor. During the interview, I felt as if I was bombarded with questions without any consideration to the pain I was in. Then they apathetically sent me back into the waiting area. Nearly another hour elapsed before I was seen by a female practitioner. Shortly before my examination I was photographed from head to toe. That was the first time I had seen my backside as one big black-and-blue mark. When the practitioner arrived, she seemed upset that she was disturbed at the early hour to come in and perform the forensic exam - and she made it known during that pelvic exam. Because so much time had passed, the detective had to leave, and I was left alone again. The exam was finally finished, but then I was sent to get X-rays to rule-out head trauma. I waited alone again for some time before someone took me to the next building. Once there, I was again left alone, but this time I was in a hallway without even a place to sit. Another hour had passed, and the detective returned on his own time after his shift. He found me curled up alone on the floor in pain. He went to get assistance -- something a VA would have done -- and found a nurse who put me in an open room with a gurney for some comfort and privacy. But only a few minutes later another nurse came by and forced me to leave the room, leaving me to return to the floor in the hallway. Meanwhile, the detective had gone to find out why I was not already X-rayed. When he returned to find me back on the floor, he demanded I be seen immediately. I wasn't X-rayed immediately, but I was at least put in a wheel chair and off the floor. When it was all clear for me to be able to take medication, the hospital wouldn't give me even an aspirin. Instead they sent me to a social worker. I had to endure a half hour with this person begging for an aspirin as she tried to explain some of the services they provide. I'm sure her job was to ensure that she said what she was supposed to by hospital policy, but I neither heard nor understood anything she was saying. All I cared about at the time was relieving the pain. No matter how much I begged for even an aspirin, the rape center was reluctant to do the extra paperwork. That was the reason I was given. A VA would have been able to work with me later to explain much of what the social worker had said and taken me to a drug store to get some medication for the pain. Nearly eight hours passed from the time I arrived at the hospital until the time I got back home. I was fortunate that I had a detective who acted as my advocate for whatever amount of time he gave me. The one regret I have is never filing a complaint with the hospital. At the time, I never looked at their treatment of me as being a part of their policy; I just looked at it as them having a bad night. Regardless of the excuse, I've learned a lot over the past 23 years to stand up to such unacceptable treatment. That hospital experience showed me that a VA would have been my voice and my ears when I needed them the most. The military's handling of sexual assaults may not be perfect, but at least there is a program. It is evolving and as more cases are reported highlighting areas that need to be addressed, the program will change to meet the needs of the victims. One prime example of this is the new Air Force's Special Victims' Counsel which provides victims with legal assistance and help navigating through the judicial process. As of January 28, 2013, sexual assault victims have available to them active-duty judge advocates to help go over their representation; provide advice and advocate their interests to trial counsel, defense counsel and commanders; attend interviews they have with investigators, trial and defense counsels; explain the investigation and military justice processes; and above all, protect their privacy interests. There are so many resources available to victims of sexual assault. There is the DoD Safe Helpline; Military OneSource; National Sexual Violence Resource Center; Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network; and the National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence. More importantly, don't overlook your installation's Sexual Assault Prevention and Response program. There is no reason that victims have to face their assault alone. A few years ago, the slogan for the April Sexual Assault Awareness Month was "Hurts One. Hurts All." If you think about it, there is no issue in life that is truly one-sided. For every person experiencing a problem -- depression, victim of a crime, medical issue, feelings of suicide, etc., -- several more are affected by it at home and work. I believe that for every situation, there are always ways to help, to prevent, even to lessen the impact. That's probably why there are so many awareness campaigns. But the real question is how many of us actually familiarize ourselves with the basic information they convey? I mentioned earlier I was never one to pay much attention to these campaigns. There was a time where I would just keep hitting the next arrow icon on the computer-based training just to get to the end-of-course exam. I've also watched the clock waiting for the class to end or looked around the room when facilitators are seeking answers to their questions and praying they wouldn't single me out. I see the majority of people in class constantly looking down at their phones. I never thought I would be raped, but it happened "to me." I could have heeded some of the messages in crime prevention campaigns and just may have prevented that attack had I been more vigilant. But, that's not the important part of my message: I believe that in any incident, there's a before, during and after. It doesn't matter if it comes in the form of an attack, or an illness, for example. We need to take precautions and pray we can prevent something from happening to us. But once we are afflicted, it's a matter of what we do during the hardship, and the road we choose after it. There is a wealth of resources for people in both the civilian and military communities that can help anyone through any crisis or learn how to help others through a crisis. All it takes is reaching out and asking for that help. April is designated as Sexual Assault Awareness Month, a campaign to raise public awareness about sexual violence and to educate communities and individuals on how to prevent sexual violence. As someone who has been there, I urge you to take a look at the campaign and participate in some of the events your base plans each April. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Related Sexual Assault Response and prevention Program information: Per DoD Directive 6495.01, Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Policy, and DoD Instruction 6495.02, Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Program Procedures: Definitions of Sexual Assault and Consent Sexual Assault: --The intentional sexual contact characterized by use of force, threats, intimidation, abuse of authority, or when the victim does not or cannot consent. --Sexual assault includes rape, sodomy, and other unwanted sexual contact that is aggravated, abusive, or wrongful, or attempts to commit these acts. Consent: --Words or overt acts indicating a freely given agreement to the sexual conduct at issue by a competent person. --An expression of lack of consent through words or conduct means there is no consent. --Lack of verbal or physical resistance, or submission, resulting from the assailant's use or threat of force, or placing another person in fear does not constitute consent. --A current or previous dating relationship by itself, or the manner of dress of the person involved with the accused in the sexual conduct at issue, shall not constitute consent. --There is no consent where the person is sleeping or incapacitated due to age, alcohol, drug, or mental incapacity. Restricted and Unrestricted Reporting Restricted report: This reporting option does NOT trigger an investigation. The command is notified that "an alleged sexual assault" occurred, but is not given the victim's name or other personally identifying information. Restricted Reporting allows Service members and military dependents who are adult sexual assault victims to confidentially disclose the assault to specified individuals (SARC, SAPR VA, or healthcare personnel) and receive healthcare treatment and the assignment of a SARC and SAPR VA. Unrestricted report: This reporting option triggers an investigation, command notification, and allows a person who has been sexually assaulted to access medical treatment and counseling. Sexual Assault Response Coordinator (SARC) and SAPR Victim's Advocate (VA) SARC: The SARC reports directly to the installation wing commander (or equivalent) and executes the Air Force's Sexual Assault Prevention and Response program at the installation level. The SARC serves as the installation's single point of contact for integrating and coordinating sexual assault victim care services. Services may begin at the initial report of sexual assault and continue through disposition and resolution of issues related to the victim's health and well-being. The SARC shall assist unit commanders as necessary to ensure victims of sexual assault receive the appropriate responsive care. SAPR VA: Air Force Victim Advocates provide essential support, liaison services and care to victims of sexual assault. The VA ensures victims continue to receive the necessary care and support until the victim states or SARC determines that support is no longer needed. VA's responsibilities include providing crisis intervention, referral and ongoing non-clinical support, including providing information on available options and resources to assist the victim in making informed decisions about the case. VAs do not provide counseling or other professional services.